HOW I WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED- OPEOLUWA

VICTIMS; NOW SURVIVORS

(EPISODE ONE)

It is no longer news that there had been increase in rape cases ever since lockdown refused to take the exit door. 

There had been uproar as to what is the cause for these acts, while some considers it a product of indecent dressing, other says otherwise.

You are not about to read more argument on this blog either, rather SOLUTIONS. I am not in support of the act and will never be, this act is more deadlier than we thought it was especially its aftermath in the life of victims.

Most times, people seem to pay too much attention to the "Rapist" rather than the "Rape" which at most cases takes doggedness, determination, the God-factor and proper followup free of "Corruption" to actually track them down especially in this part of the world.

Studies has shown that more than 75% of rape victims and sexual abuse experience theirs at a very tender age especially between 2-15 and in most cases, most cases, justice is never given to victims because they took longer in speaking up and only 20% of them actually does.

The impact of such act is always very heavy and most times their healing process might take "forever" and even if it does, not all eventually get to speak up and share their experiences. This could be as a result of the fear of rejection, stigma etc.

Till the point of this post, I was able to approach 4victims who shared their story with me and it was only two who were bold enough to allow me share theirs here.
This is to tell you "how scared they are".

Just before you read, let me state here that one of the reasons I'm sharing these stories is to help YOU; who possibly might have been a victim or even someone you know but is so scared of " moving on". These tips will help them see the need not to die in guilt and pain, but for them to understand the "IMPORTANCE OF HEALING".

I had taught of sharing the stories at once, but it might get too voluminous for you, so this series will come in episodes.

The first person is " Opeoluwa". Her full identity had to be withdrawn because she did not give me the permission to add it to her story.

OPEOLUWA'S STORY

Sometimes, when people talk about their experiences from being raped, I would want to pretend like I hadn't been a victim because I was "only sexually abused". But I realized that living everyday with recurring effect of my past assault might keep hunting me until I share the story.

I was barely five when I became a victim of sexual assault. My mother died while I was eight and it became even worse after her demise. 

Due to my Fathers busy schedules and work, I spent most of upbringing with my Grandmother, and living with her was a bit challenging because two of my cousins were already staying with her coupled with my siblings. 

Just after we moved in, one of my cousins who was a bit older than I am started assaulting me without the knowledge of my Grandmother. I remember how he takes me to my grandpa's sitting room, lock the doors and he plays the Mummy and Daddy's” game.

One might think it was just a mere children play, but deep down there was more. He was already a teenager so I am pretty sure he knew what he did was bad. 

This act continued as I got used to it even as it opened door to several assaults. Then it became a normal thing for a boy to most of my sensitive parts like my breasts and to play with my vagina though I was not so comfortable with older men doing so.

When I was in Jss1, I was assaulted again by one of my Grandmothers converts. She was a devoted member of Deeper Life Bible Church and an ardent soul winner. 

One this particular day, she took me and this convert of hers to a vigil in church and despite the hot sessions of prayer that was on with hundreds of people in attendance, this convert of hers came to where I laid and started fingering me, I could not stop him as I was already horny, I just couldn't shout because I was too naïve all I did was change my sleeping position yet he did not stop. This time, I was barely nine years old.

When I got into JSS2, we moved back to live with my father and this was the time he had just started a mechanic work. Sometime after closing sessions in school, I will go to his workshop to stay with him till closing hours.

There was this particular man who comes to repair his vehicle at his workshop and whenever he comes, he will tell me to come sit on his laps and with time, he will take me into his car and he will rub his hands on my laps and breast.

 Though I was worried, but I was too scared to tell my father. First off, will he believe me and even if he does, he might not want to confront the man since he was his good customer. to tell my father, the only parent I knew then.

Aside these ones, I received other numerous assaults; one from a close friend who I thought I could confine in as well from one of my Fathers friends who was a lecturer in a renowned Nigerian institution. 

My boobs became their Centre of attraction since it got bigger.  But amidst all of these, I am standing strong in faith with god and shamelessly sharing this story.
I would not say I have been healed completely, but I am grateful to god that I can regain a bit of sanity despite all. At some point I felt like I lost my value and self-worth as a woman. 

At some point I became an item of sexual gratification to the point it daunted my image and dignity and I felt I was a weaker vessel.
Those experiences made me love sex though I still do not have a good sex life. I was always attracted to the opposite sex; in fact, I love to think of the act at every slightest flash even when I feel so scared of doing because my assault experience only rung the alarm. 
At some point I became so scared of myself because I grew so wild, to the point I became scared to sitting close to a guy in buses or even behind bike riders. 

I knew I could not help myself so I sought Gods intervention, but first I had to forgive myself of guilt, it was like a battle but I fought through. I accepted Christ into my life and prayed the Holy Spirit help me out of the situation. He sure heard my cry and I am more grateful to God I did not die from depression.

It was not an easy process, at a point I almost fell back but thank God for the amazing people he brought my way which has kept me and made me steadfast in the things of the kingdom.

I am enjoying the healing process, it became more glaring ever since I started sharing my story and I have regained confidence.

I hope you got one or two things to take from her story. If yes, then drop it at the comment section.

Watch out for more episodes.
You are loved❤